Identity Crises; New to Stay At Home Mom Life

My Post (5)

I have been living the stay at home mom life now since early September. I recognize I am very blessed to live the life I live. I am not currently working, yet am still (well, will be eventually) receiving a paycheck thanks to the GI Bill. So basically getting paid to be a full time student, which I am doing online from home. No doubt about it, I am blessed to live the life I’m living.

I joined the military three weeks after I graduated high school at 18. I just turned 33 on the 11th of November, so from the time I was 18 until 32 I’ve been working! I had two jobs while in the Air Force. One of them was a special job I only did for four years before returning to my primary job as a military police officer. Like any law enforcement job, it consisted of long days and nights, working holidays, training on your day off, fitting in workout time into your day to meet the requirement of staying in shape! That’s the life I became accustomed to. You wake up early, go for a run, pull a 12 hour day, come home and be a mom. Well, that’s no longer my life and honestly, I’m struggling a bit with who I am now.

I like to think that we are always in this state of becoming. To me, that keeps things interesting. Who wants to say they have it all figured out? When you’ve done something everyday since you were basically a kid though and all of a sudden you walk away from that or are yanked from it, what does that do to your identity? What happens to who you’ve grown into already at the intersection of this new phase of life?

At first I really sank my teeth into stay at home mom life the best way I knew how: I started reading blogs, I started following stay at home mom’s on youtube and subscribed to a few podcasts. I wanted to see what other women have to say.  Honestly, I haven’t taken much away.

I think it’s an on going process especially in my case where I’m juggling being home all day with my four year old and taking online classes. I have to find my balance and I think balance sometimes comes at the hand of trial and error. I’m learning that I’m not a night owl and feel way more productive when I wake up at 5 a.m. like I’m used to. I like to soak as much out of the day as possible, but it’s been a while now and I’ve read the books and binged the movies..I’ve dressed retired life nicely, it’s like..now what? What else is there? Especially being in this weird in between where I’m chasing one dream (of having a Bachelor’s) to pursue another, which is to teach one day. Who am I right now? I have heard from a few Mom friends who left careers to stay home and they experienced what I’m feeling as well, so in a weird way it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone in this.

My goal is to be as transparent as possible here on my blog, so I hope you all don’t mind, but I will begin incorporating a little bit of everything. I hope the right post reaches someone who needs it at the right time. There is already enough negativity and ways that people feel they don’t belong. If I can combat that in any way possible, I will keep trying..and I think the best way to start is by being honest. Things aren’t perfect. Life for me isn’t all glitz and glam. There are days when I don’t know if I’m the mess on the floor or the broom to sweep it up, but I aim to keep figuring it out as best as I can.

we will chat again soon. I’m rooting for you and am only a message away if you ever need to chat.

xx

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10 thoughts on “Identity Crises; New to Stay At Home Mom Life

  1. Bree I am loving this post! I am 6 years younger to you and switched my career more than a year back. In between the switch I stayed home with my parents and it was a difficult time. To adjust to not having an income, not having a daily routine, being stuck at home all day was making me depressed. But I came through and now I am back to full time working. I know it’s easier said than done but it will pass and get easier. You just have to push through and as Dory says ‘Just Keep Swimming’ 😘

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you SO much for the words of encouragement💗I’m so glad you pulled through! The income part right now is taking the longest to get used to. Feel like I’ve slightly lost my sense of independence. But I keep telling myself it’s temporary! Just a little scary with the holidays coming up!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I left work to become a stay at home mom somewhat accidentally (we hadn’t planned for me to stay home), and it is SUCH a rough adjustment. I went back to work part time this fall and I finally feel like I have my bearings again. It’s rough- and I think it’s rough in different ways for everyone so it’s hard to relate sometimes even to other stay at home moms (I can’t handle SAHM blogs at all, which is definitely the first time blogs have let me down!). You’re not alone- the maelstrom of feelings is completely normal.
    Also- being a student and being a mom at the same time is hard work, even under the best (? if there is such a thing?) of circumstances.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s amazing me how many women have done staying home! I think all of our experiences differ for sure but it’s kind of comforting knowing that I’m not experiencing anything that anyone else hasn’t! Do you mind sharing what motivated you to seek employment again?

      Like

  3. “I like to think that we are always in this state of becoming.” THIS! I hate having to pretend like I have everything figured out all the time. We’re all just really doing our best. I love this!

    Like

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