Hello there Friends. I hope all is well with you today. We have made it to another Sunday and another month is coming to a close. Seriously, where did September go? I am so excited to catch up with you. I hope you have a nice warm cup of coffee or tea..let’s chat.
This past week I was tasked to watch people pee in a cup. Despite all of the different shades of urine I won’t be able to get out of my head now, it turned out to be a really chill week. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as busy as expected, so I was able to get quite a bit of reading done.
Towards the end of the week, I got a surprise. Two of my old co-workers showed up while doing an escort. I can’t even express how happy I was to see them. I am at a new duty station now, only 30 minutes away, but feels like a state over. I never get to see my old crew like I’d like to. I seriously wanted to cry. Seeing them bought to the surface the feeling of being alone, that I’ve felt since moving. For some reason, it is really difficult for me to open up myself and allow myself to connect with people where I am now. It sounds bratty, but I miss my friends. I had it good there for a while, and I feel like I didn’t appreciate it enough when I had it.
I don’t expect to meet my new best friend, but I have got to give people a chance. My therapist is constantly reminding me that I need to watch how I talk to myself. If I continue to tell myself things like, “it’s not worth it, don’t let them in,” then I won’t ever have those connections and who knows? I may be missing out on something wonderful.
Something that made me laugh out loud this week when I saw it was a picture my kid’s babysitter sent me:
We have a big box of street chalk and she takes Kaysin outside a lot to draw, practice his letters and play games. This particular day, she wanted to teach him how to play hop scotch. I loved seeing him in mid hop scotch mode, with his jammie pants on and sneakers. He looks like he was really concentrating. I can only imagine how long he kept her out there; he loves being outside and would stay out there all day if we let him.
I had to take my physical test this past week and let me tell you, it sucked. It is usually a morning thing, but with rules changing, there is more liberty For individual unit commanders, to make their own rules. So instead of testing at 6 in the morning when running a mile and a half wouldn’t have been so bad, we didn’t start running until about 2:30 in the afternoon. I can run for a while. With the right playlist, I could run 3-4 miles with no problem. But I’m not fast, and as I get older, the run portion of the test is really kicking my butt. I initially was disappointed, but then I told myself, I passed. That’s what matters. If it’s that big of a deal to me, then I need to work on it. Never in a thousand years would I have pictured myself at the weight I am now, and struggling to get my shit together but here I am. I am going to start with healthier food choices. Mentally I know it is going to suck. I crave junk so much, but I think after a few days, I may not be bothered by the cravings at all.
Fall is here and this time more than any other time of the year, I really try and appreciate the moments because I know how quickly time flies. I have been focusing on doing things that make me happy. I am binge watching whatever ghost hunting shows or haunted towns type shows I can find. I’ve been pulling out my journal more. I put my phone away and enjoy a Hallmark film. I come home from a long day, cook and watch Rachael Ray. I take a long bubble bath with my ipad propped up so I can catch up on Youtube videos or listen to my current audio book. I know when I need time to restore myself, and that time is very important. If I’m not good, I probably won’t be good for anyone else.
So, let me know what I new with you. How have you been? Has anything crazy happened since we chatted last?